Tag Archives: Mamali

My Cocoon

How I continuously and irritably look at my life.
How I break in a strange and soundless way
in my green destiny a yellow hope waves.
And in my lonely solitude,
in the night of the cage,
a strange lump is standing outside the door
knocking constantly to destroy
a memory,
drown the life.
Who says that you are as beautiful as a butterfly
I am hiding in my cocoon
I die slowly, so slowly in this tight cocoon
with no space to shout.
I die soundlessly under the rubble of walls.

– Mamali,
Manus Island, 27 months

New Years Eve Fish

When I see people these days, I feel like a fish.
I feel like am in a big aquarium.
People stop to watch me.
Some of them stare with wonder, some say ‘poor thing, it’s a pity he is in there’ – thanks to their kindness.
Others say ‘he deserves it, this bowl is too good for him’.

No one knows that you get fried and shed skin, a hundred times a day, in the bowl.
Hard to believe, but it is more like dying than living.

What is the difference? Whether in a bowl or in a sea, it’s all about water, and only water. You are swimming in time, whether in a sea or a dream.

In the bowl, people’s looks tie and untie in your eyes like a shoe lace.
They remind you everyday, who you are and where you are.

Lets move on…

This new year was a bit different. I don’t know why we people always look for differences… I was lost in the differences too when she gave me my first new year present and reminded me I exist.

She had arranged 7 for me, but I only had one salute:

Salute to the mirror that showed me a reflection of a different me.
Salute to the person who reminded me of the fresh colours of white poplar trees.
Salute to the greenness of spring, where no flowers of regret are to be grown.
Salute to the dim light of a candle in the distance, however small but full of potential and eagerness to become a butterfly.
Salute to the sweetness of an innocent smile.
Salute to freedom, even as short as a dream.
Salute to the people I don’t know, but smell like a soul alive.

Manus Island 27 months